Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Help! I'm Lactating!

(9:40:17pm) TheGuy: i think i'm lactating!

(9:40:25pm) TheGirl: Excuse me?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Failed Pickup Lines, Vol. 1

(4:57:34pm) TheGuy: are you actually a robot?


(4:44:43pm) TheGuy: what happens when a bisexual woman and a bisexual man hook up?


(4:40:34pm) TheGuy: I know you're in New Jersey, but I just wanted to say that I really, really like your breasts.


(9:36:33pm) TheGuy: i have 2 testes.


(5:20:50pm) TheGuy: ok ok so what *does* your shit smell like?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Ouch, My Box!

(6:12:40pm) TheGuy: hey - what does it mean if a lady asks me to "stop punching me in the box."

(6:12:40pm) TheGirl: i'm still at work, at quite busy... multitasking. just saw your note

(6:12:40pm) TheGuy: ?